I had thought discussing things with the Morgana would be fruitful. Donizetti seemed to trust them enough to set up a meeting with the coven at the party. What a mistake that was. It is no wonder the arrogant bastards caused a war with my clan all those centuries ago.
In spite of everything I told him, and that Hatabis clearly choose me, the speaker for the clan, Grit would have none of. Perhaps his mind is as rotted as his body. I understand “clan business” and I can understand his desire to keep this an in-clan matter. But how could he so blatantly refuse me like that? Would someone who was unworthy have been received the cube?
I should really have known not to expect better from those filthy kurrs, especially since it sounds like they see this as a promised “end of days.” I will not lay down like a dog and just accept the fate others have bestowed upon me though. Not before I was reborn as Donizetti’s childe, not now, not while I am more than a pile of ashes
To make matters worse, Adamine was just as provoked by Grit as I was. I tried to silence her for her own good, but I fear she may have taken it the wrong way. Who knows what a powerful necromancer could do to one of us. Had that damn cadaver hurt her, I would have slaughtered him and all remaining shamblers in the room. I do not want to be the one who starts a new clan war between Sorae and Morgana though.
In the end, Grit refused to make a compromise. Should I ever see him again, I will see just how formidable the stiff truly is, especially if I get him alone. I fear that it might be the act that truly damns me though, because I want not just his blood, but his soul as well.
I feel I am finding myself near the ends of patience and sanity. All that I have sacrificed, all that I have endured, and for what? I put my own needs and desires to the side to find the answers to this mystery, and maybe even save the world. But is it even worth saving? Am I a fool for having abandoned my search for Ezenna to pursue what I deemed “the greater good”? I may not be a devotee like Adamine is, but I am still more than willing to do my part to make this world a better place for the innocents. I’m just not willing to let them die because I hold any faith that one of the gods, who are rightfully fickle, will protect or save the worthy from those who they deem to not be.
The scrying stone proved somewhat fruitful. I was rather surprised that Adamine was willing to shed her blood to help us further our quest, but I am glad that she did. Perhaps she sees merit in what we are trying to do. Had Donizetti not stopped me, I would have searched for Ezenna with the stone next. Perhaps I still shall soon.
Alas, as we were trying to decide what we were going to do next, things devolved into bickering and infighting, again. Why must this always happen, and why is Adamine so willing to torture others to get what she wants? I know going to the Jzari Corps headquarters may not be the best idea, but what else can we do? I will not harm family members who may or may not be able to help us anyways just to satisfy Adamine’s need for justice.
Still, I fear the events of the night and what has been said may have been too much for her. Despite her age and potency, she seems very fragile at times. She stormed off when we were trying to finalize our decision of what to do next. I know I should go after her, but I don’t know what I should say.
Do I risk exposing my feelings when I know very well she may reject me completely or question my motives? It is too late to debate this any longer. I have let Ezenna slip through my fingers to be a hero. I will not lose Adamine as well. At least not without having said my piece first. If the gods truly care for any of us, may they grant me the proper words to say so this doesn’t all just blow up in my face.
~ Rastan Taranul
– Haltiatar childe of Donizetti Divatikol, Svarkaname Sorae elder of the great city of Amal -